As I take a second look I think I know the source of much of what is off about it for me. The shot is so straight on that the fact your main light is off of the center axis by a couple of degrees makes a difference. I think if your main was centered over her face instead of like what a foot to camera left? I think that might make a difference on how the highlights are showing. It is really that drastic difference between her right and left cheek that jumps out at me first.
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Chaos, panic, and disorder .... my work here is done.
gary roberts
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